Find out from a normal guy who actually spent some time with it.
She genuinely wants to know what my favorite color is before she divulges her name, let alone decides if she wants to go out on a date with me. But being a man who has been unlucky enough in love to resort to a dating website, I of course stumbled over my words and responded in none of the ways anticipating one of those responses would suggest.
I am, after all, bad at this. But I would like to presume that the human proposal I sent initially did not return the polite, human response I expected. What I am coming to understand is that a dating website, or Ok Cupid in particular, has nuances in communication just as any other social media platform does. But what it does additionally is prove that although many people today resort to dating websites out of bad real-life experiences, shyness, rejection, fear, etc. Because dating websites still carry something of a stigma, it was a tough choice to finally pull the trigger and set up an account.
Which site should I choose? How much should I pay? How should I set up my profile? What color shirt should I wear in my profile picture? The research I found was informative, but often unhelpful in making a decision.
These articles read one of two ways: And I decided on Ok Cupid because of friend recommendations. Girls will receive countless messages and will just be turned off by the number of times they are hit on, and good guys will be as subject to women ignoring them, being rude, being unavailable or being uninteresting.
How is this any different from the crapshoot that is hitting on people in bars or clubs? I messaged one girl who was listed as Chicago went to school in Missouri and was unavailable till the end of the semester. Conversations
Does okcupid work for guys others went nowhere.
And many more were non-responses. And in theory, it works great. Case in point, i. Then of course there are the bizarrelike this one: Ok Cupid then allows you to browse based on location, the most recent someone has been online, their age, their status and their sexuality.
It also tells you how often a person replies to a message, whatever that means. Ok Cupid provides you with a notification for each person who has visited your profile and when they do. One time I had this happen to me as I was online. So what are the criteria for a dating profile? This advice came from a female friend who prefers to meet men from Ok Cupid at lunch and in public places for nothing too serious, only after a few back and forth messages.
She has not had much luck either. Does okcupid work for guys of my friends had a hilarious and much shorter experience with Ok Cupidand she seemed to sum up the problem with dating websites in general in about one paragraph.
What woman will take their message seriously off the bat? Is the percentage really that high? Am I in that 15 percent, or worse, am I in that 85 percent?
Are the percentages any worse or better dating in bars and clubs, or does a man who would turn to a dating website in the first place really have any better luck? I would also be a weirdo that hangs out at grocery stores way too long. I would have to live off those little samples. I have not had great luck in those
Does okcupid work for guys. How could one not think to consider a dating website after reading something like that?
And at the same time, how could someone believe that a dating website may actually work? There are good people out there. I for one am still searching. This post has been fairly popular, and about a month after writing it, my presence on Ok Cupid slowly trailed off. I had hit a certain number of Does okcupid work for guys sent with still no response and subconsciously called it quits.
My profile still exists, and I even checked it a few days ago; about a half dozen girls visited my profile, and one even rated me highly, but I had no messages awaiting me. You may have better luck. My friend linked to above did notand abandoned the site even sooner than I did. Presumably gauging whether the responder has been curious enough to take an IQ test might reveal something? At least in theory. Dating is a complete mystery to me anymore! She obviously liked your pic…or was shocked by how weird it is.
I am currently on OKCupid. I am above average in all
Does okcupid work for guys looks, personality, etc. I have sent out a bunch of messages, no responses. I have received a bunch of looks and two messages. Not interested in either message.
I am not going to stop the experiment just yet. I think the only real way to meet people is through: There are as many tastes as there are colours. It may not be intentional, since no woman has time to respond to every message, but members seem terse. Thanks for sharing the guy experience with us! As Does okcupid work for guys girl, I get maybe 50 views a week, messages.
The best guys invariably skim just enough to catch this before messaging. Where to find generous, intelligent, creative, hardworking people outside of inebriation stations barsweird dating websites, or awkward interactions in the salad line? In these cases, 9 times out 10 I do not get a reply back, despite the recipient being an active user. Just an odd thing….
I have no explanation. One girl
Does okcupid work for guys a conversation with me. I replied fairly quickly and we had a date a few days later. I share the experience of the author. I wrote a bunch of girls who apparently match well with me and 7 out of 8 girls visit my profile after my message, but hardly any of them message back. Nothing too bad or too good. I joined okcupid last year and stayed on for a few months. I live and work in Paris, have a very demanding job and do not have much time to socialise.
So, for me, the site was a good option, initially. I guess a major take away for me is me starting to wonder why people treat each other with so much lack of regard? Why the disrespect and the stringing along? Or is it just the dating game which some people try to take seriously while others just at it as an occasional amusement….
I do not have the answer; I just know that I needed some time to restore my confidence following the okcupid dating experience. I did meet someone I became friends with and he has included me in his larger friend circle; it is great because we do stuff together, explore Paris etc. Ironically once I started not trying, my success rate became exponentially better. Often this leads to sending 40 to 50 messages a day sometimes. A quick reference to their profile or questions and then move on.
As sad as it may be, the most important thing to remember is to not get your hopes up.
I calculate that I wasted about 30, words all told, and got about 2 replies out of So I tried an experiment and created an alternative profile using a catalogue model man, just a face pic. I had a stream of women just sending ME messages, not even waiting for me to message them.
If I replied in some sleazy sexual way, the conversation continued in most cases! All because I looked like a male model. Something died in me with this experiment and Does okcupid work for guys pulled my profile from OKC. I feel sorry for the women on "Does okcupid work for guys" sites waiting fruitlessly for their non existent fantasy males to appear out of thin cyberspace, when I think these fantasy males are as non existent as my I thought very obviously fake profile.
I think online dating as a whole has pretty much failed both men and women, you hear some success stories, but the amount of articles like this, and the war of words concerning who has it worst men or women etc shows there are a lot of unsatisfied online daters out there.
Some people just want to collect stamps or play volleyball or go for walks! I must say I felt quite identified with your personality.
I would probably try to create a polished profile as well as you did, which perhaps would not be so welcomed to most men. That pretty much sums up my basic attitude about OkCupid. Those dates usually go nowhere.