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Bodybuilder hookup memes some cards for teachers


Competitive fitness is blowing up among general fitness connoisseurs, thanks to Instagram stars like Paige Hathaway and Michelle Lewin. Their bods and commitment are inspiring women around the world to set the goal of one day stepping on the stage as a fitness competitor in the bikini division at the next local competition.

Yet this community still isn't universally understood or accepted. Outsiders ridicule fitness competitions, using hateful words about participants' bodies and the steps it took to get them. I'm here to reveal some of those steps, be honest about my experience and hopefully shed light on one particular subset of the bodybuilding community.

At most shows, the bikini division is the most saturated with competitors. Many speculate this is because the process of bodybuilding for this division is a bit less intense than others. Additionally, the "ideal" look for a bikini competitor is more aligned with what mainstream media currently considers an "ideal" body type. Bikini competitors seek a softer overall aesthetic and the ultimate hourglass figure. Judges look for sculpted shoulders, small and toned waists, large and muscular glutes, and strong, defined legs.

You don't have to dress...

Smart workout pants could replace the need for a yoga instructor. Achieving this body and receiving an award for it may sound great to some. The trouble is, competing is a bit more involved than people tend to think.

As Bodybuilder hookup memes some cards for teachers former bikini fitness competitor, I feel inclined to share the hilariously strange bodybuilding practices I took part in to earn a small statue, which sits awkwardly on my desk at home.

Some girls got away with applying just three layers of spray tans but, thanks to my fair skin, I had to get four. You have to give yourself at least four hours between each spray tan application, and you cannot shower until the end of the show.

But your muscles look pretty cut coated in all that bronzer.

To avoid ruining your spray tan, most coaches recommend that you pee in a cup then dump it into the toilet each time you use the bathroom the day of your show. My trainer used Bikini Bite to glue the edges of my suit to my body. Some coaches used other adhesives for this, such carpet glue.

You don't have to dress...

The purpose here is to make sure the necessary body parts remain covered as you move through your poses in a suit that was made to show as much skin as possible. I was hoping to go with an inexpensive suit from Etsy, but my trainer had other ideas. The ideal rear pose has you sticking your butt out just enough to make sure it looks its absolute best, while also keeping your back upright enough to make sure the pose is family-friendly.

Turns out, you need to build a specific lower back muscle for this. Zero calorie food actually exists, and what it lacks in calories, it makes up for in funky tastes and stomach aches that last all night. Word to the wise, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. I used products from Walden Farms to spice up my meals with coach-approved flavor. The syrup for my protein pancakes was actually really good, but the salad dressings, alfredo sauce, marshmallow dip, chocolate syrups and jams were gross.

The worst stomach aches came from the creamy products, like the ranch dressing and alfredo sauce. The six meals a competitor eats each day might sound like a lot, but when you consider the portion sizes and the fact that competitors work out upwards of two hours per day, six meals can and will definitely leave a competitor hungry between each scheduled mealtime.

Veggies are the one item coaches will allow their clients to eat on end. My competitor friends and I would eat bags of veggies at a time to stay full between meals. For whatever reason, posing coaches, suit makers, trainers and tanning techs all need to see you smack in the middle of weekdays. Fortunately, I signed on for a remote working position a month before my show which helped out in a huge way as things got even crazier toward the end. This goes toward the physique competitor association you choose to compete with and their local affiliates who host the show.

Most coaches recommend that you take natural diuretics commonly called water tablets several days before your show to drop water weight. These tablets work by helping your kidneys push more sodium into your urine. The sodium then takes water from your blood which helps you lose the salt and water that Bodybuilder hookup memes some cards for teachers as excess weight on Bodybuilder hookup memes some cards for teachers body.

The water tablets made me a bit loopy, but drinking about a gallon of water a day helped.

My friends who were also competing were instructed to take the tablets and restrict their water intake to cut their water weight a few days before stepping on stage.

Apparently, the water tablets you take to dehydrate yourself before a show can make your muscles most importantly your glutes fall flat. My coach had instructed my team to bring honey as a quick fix to boost our muscles should this happen.

When I Bodybuilder hookup memes some cards for teachers my booty falling flat about an hour before I went on stage, I ate a spoonful of honey and it worked. When you see a bodybuilder on stage, you might assume they smell of the coconut tanning oil you used before you realized skin cancer is a thing. The best part of having cooking oil on your body is the application process. Standing in a high school hallway getting Pam rubbed on me by the same nice lady who glued my suit to my crotch was definitely a highlight.

This is why all competitors look forward to the glorious day they get to start carb loading. Even though I did end up placing, I was happy I chose to invite only a select few, given the outrageous admission fee.

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