I am a professional, Our marriage was with not an arranged one but due to our love for one another. Last week my husband asked if he could have a second wife. I understand it is permissible. This has since caused a lot of hurt and anger. My husband says its ok. But I am not convinced. How can we move forward. I am so hurt by the suggestion. The children have seen us argue and feel my pain.
Please advise me please. And there is not much we can do to control that. At the end of the day you will be rewarded for your patience.
Would it not be better than having him commit zina? There are many men out there who have a secret affair and keep committing zina and get affected by diseases and bring those diseases into the home.
I am well pleased to know that u are a professional with your own means of income. We need more muslim women like this. I have clearly told my husband that if this case ever arises. Alhamdulilah I have a good profession and I will not be hurt emotionally, socially nor physically by any man!! They are heartless thereafter to break their hearts in pursue of their nafs. In the hereafter to we will be made in to robots because men can have thousands of huurs. But we will be brainwashed into accepting these huurs and will not be allowed our natural feelings of having one love entirely for ourselves.
All women want to have My husband wants to marry another woman special husband to love only her entirely. In paradise we will be brainwashed into accepting huurs making love without husband all the time. We will not have our natural feelings we had in this world. Maybe someone who is in this type of marriage can inform us of their experience.
Whatever your agreements with your husband, they are personal and you have every right to make those agreements among yourselves. Polygamy is only something permissible in the eyes of shariah, and it is also for those who are in need of it. As for your second part wherein you attack paradise, you appear to be very childish. We have to explain that there is harm in sharing and caring for one another. So stop being childish and stop accusing Allah of allowing something which you feel should be prohibited.
What you have mentioned of thousands of huur is also incorrect.
The muhadditheen have debated this issue of the amount of huurs a jannati will get in Jannah. Ibnul Qayyim has stated that the narrations of multitude of huurs do not reach the category of Saheeh, and thus his research was that the Hadith of Bukhari and Muslim of two huurs is the most saheeh. Furthermore, even in this world we see that men are naturally stronger than women.
When a woman is on her period, or during her pregnancies, or after child birth, if the husband needs her during these times, what solution would you provide for him? Would you tell him to commit zina? Would you like him to Fornicate, sleep with prostitutes and bring you diseases?
Would you tell him My husband wants to marry another woman masturbate? Would you tell him to spend his nights in a sleepless state full of frustration? None of these are natural. One man can handle a few women but one woman cannot handle a few men. No shareef woman would want multiple men sleeping with her.
Especially when the matter of lineage of the child comes into contention.
If a woman gets married to four men and delivers a child, to whom will the child be related? Who will be classed as the father? Islam is for the whole world. Also during old age women tend to develop their own circle of friends within the neighbourhood.