Being gifted musically with the ability to play the piano, I found a place to serve at a very early age. I also struggled with same-sex attraction — homosexuality.
Imagine my horror when, at 10 years of age and already knowing my struggle, I overheard the men whose image God had been built in my mind begin discussing homosexuality. Mind you, these were men I had been shaped by and taught by since my earliest recollections. So when I heard them describe what they thought of someone like me even though they did not know they were talking about me, I did my reaction was simple: They hate people like me.
God must hate me. I felt absolutely no hope of help from them or "Friend struggling with homosexuality statistics" God…did not know where to turn…and subsequently spent too much of my life trying to perform for the acceptance and affirmation of others…especially other men. I remember hearing so many times in my formative years so many hellfire and brimstone sermons, often with homosexuals leading the pack into hell.
Never hearing an inkling of hope for my situation from anyone, I had no other recourse but to distance
Friend struggling with homosexuality statistics relationally from anyone who might get too close…who might possibly find out my abomination.
I take responsibility for my choices…but the other side of the coin where the rubber meets the road is that the church drove me away out of fear and ignorance.
One of the saddest things facing the body of Christ today is that many still do this without realizing what they are doing. After I graduated from my Christian university inI found myself in a homosexual relationship. By this time I had given up on being able to change and, just like most of the world, assumed change was not possible…that this was just the way it was meant to be.
My assumption was that by surrendering to my homosexual identity I would find peace. I felt used most of the time. The love that was professed seemed more self-focused and abusive than genuine self-sacrifice. Becoming disillusioned with the gay community Friend struggling with homosexuality statistics agenda, I turned back to seeking God. A friend invited me to live with him at the end of the summer of and he soon discovered my secret.
Rather than rejecting me and humiliating me which was what I had grown quite accustomed to he did something I had honestly never seen demonstrated before. He extended the real and practical love of Christ to me! What did that look like? He told me he loved me no matter what my struggle was! He told me he did not know all the answers to my dilemma…but he knew THE Answer! He told me he would be willing to walk toward Jesus with me…for however long it would take…through whatever roads the journey might take us.
He told me he would walk toward Jesus with me! How empowering to a hopeless soul! After the Lord set me free or should I say began setting me free — or both? I guess they fear that my former life might rub off on them or something! Why do I share these things? I believe that I would have been saved years of torment and suffering had I ever heard there was hope when I was child.
God has called us to be salt and light. Salt is a preservative and adds flavor. And therein lies the rub. God commands us to love, not to judge!
Most Christians, whether they will admit it or not, judge homosexuals as hopeless…and assign a higher degree of sinfulness to homosexual behavior than their own sin that separated them initially from God. But the greater mistake that most people make is assigning a moral identity to homosexual behavior and never looking beyond the to what the root of homosexual behavior really is.
As I look back on my journey toward freedom, homosexuality was not the root of my sin. Homosexual behavior comes from real human needs going unmet.
Homosexual behavior takes hold when those needs get met in ways other than the Lord intended. My own behavior developed very early in my life. I was emotionally sensitive and artistically gifted and driven both gifts from God but others perceived me as effeminate…and told me so, reinforcing my own thoughts. My personality was very melancholic and the culture I lived in — rural and very conservative — perpetrated and idolized a very macho male image that flew
Friend struggling with homosexuality statistics the face of my self-perception even as a small boy.
But the bottom line was truly my perception of who I was. As a man thinks in his heart, so he is! Due to personality differences and the way we are nurtured or not nurtured determines the path our own sin will lead us down.
When we can grasp that reality, none of us are really that different from the next person. We all need a Savior. Since there are many great books on the subject of understanding how homosexual behavior and identity develop, I am not going to labor the point.
My goal in writing this piece is to encourage the reader to stop judging and begin practicing the love of Christ toward those Friend struggling with homosexuality statistics struggle with same-sex attraction.
Judgment is for God — our commandment is to love.
When is the last time you had a conversation with someone you know is homosexual without looking for the escape route? When is the last time you made your homosexual co-worker feel worth your time?
Because of the nature of my story and ministry, I receive lots of mail from young and old, from rich and poor, from doctors, lawyers, and football coaches, from policemen and moms, from pastors and worship leaders…who tell me they struggle with same-sex attraction…but there is NO ONE TO TALK TO!
We need to repent. I talk with people weekly who would never darken the door of a church building because of the people inside!
So what do do when we are confronted with a friend or pastor or family member who struggles? All this newness of life is from God, who brought us back to himself through what Christ did. And God has given us the task [ministry] of reconciling people to him.
For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people's sins against them. This is the wonderful message he has given us to tell others. Do we expose the sin and humiliate the perpetrator?