Love is complicated enough without the added pressure of trying to always second guess what your partner will do at any given moment. But it's the never-ending back and forth swing stance Early dating push pull wreaks havoc on an otherwise passionate, happy and intense relationship.
That fairy tale of the perfect connection can often turn into endless turmoil, explosive drama In the beginning of the push-pull relationship, there is a credible and unwavering pursuit by the man, typically a classic commitment phobewho we will call the "pusher.
Eventually, the target female, we'll call her the "puller," tires and the eager charm of the lone and insistent prince wins her over. That is, until she turns to face him.
After just the first few months or sometimes weeks! Feeling uneasy and clearly disturbed by her lover's sudden change, the puller begins to pull him back in by making herself more sexually desirable or in many cases, by simply acting aloof and uninterested, which sparks the pusher think he is losing his prey or that his princess may have gotten over her pulling ways.
The push-pull starts off very slowly in the beginning. But as the relationship continues, the push and the pull can become a daily fixture in this already intense relationship or at
Early dating push pull a regular occurrence for the once happy couple.
One is always running while the other is always chasing. They go back and forth while narrowly coming face-to-face with one another. But it's when they turn to see each other in between chases when the passion ignites and the world seems to stand still. The love they feel in these fleeting moments are what keep the relationship alive.
Both the pusher and the puller believe that the love they feel in the interim is why they are "meant to be.
The pulling away typically happens when the relationship seems to be going exceptionally well -- usually right after that interim of deep and meaningful connection. This occurs because the intimacy was getting too intense for the pusher, who may start a fight seemingly out of nowhere, to get the push-pull started once again.
He may even go back to seeing his ex, the previous puller, or cheat for temporary relief. To make matters worse, lying has become his favorite "Early dating push pull" time.
Whatever the case, the pusher is suddenly shut down and unavailable.
This is the most confusing aspect of this dance for the puller, who is blindsided by this reckless behavior. After all, everything was going so well and looking just like the beginning again!
And in a way, it was Early dating push pull typical shelf life for this relationship is about two years and both the pusher and the puller have the same fears -- making it obvious that these two are bound for disaster. The common fears that the pusher and puller share are intimacy and abandonment. The puller is very much aware of her deep fears of abandonment -- meaning she is conscious of it.
Her subconscious fear is intimacy, even though she craves this particular thing the most. For the puller, intimacy is what leads to abandonment. When the connection is sparked, the puller goes into protection mode and puts up a wall to keep safe. The pusher's
Early dating push pull fear is intimacy, as this is where he, too, faces possible rejection. In opposition of the puller, the pusher is conscious of this fear because he thinks that intimacy will lead to enmeshment, a feeling of confinement and restriction for him.
It is his subconscious fear of abandonment that lead to his fear of enmeshment Neither the pusher nor the puller really wants out of
Early dating push pull otherwise tumultuous relationship.
They are both gaining a great deal from this interaction by re-living old childhood traumas. If the pusher and puller can realize what is actually going on here -- two adults perpetuating old wounds--then they can work on the relationship together. Some couples will stay in these relationships for a lifetime, feeding off the love and connection they feel in between chases.